Heart of the Matter

What do Cuisinart and Karen Kingsbury have in Common?

2009-10-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

When I get the chance to cook, I really enjoy using great gadgets, applicances and tools. There's something about all of that that just makes it more fun! I have to say that one of my FAVORITE kitchen gadgets is my mini-Cuisinart. I whip that little baby out when I want to chop onions, chives, tomatoes, or anything of that nature. In a jiffy, I'm done.

While I'm waiting for my cake or cookies to bake, I can always be found with a Karen Kingsbury book in my hands. I can get lost in her fabulous books and I feel as though I know each character.
Learn more about my favorite author....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng2v6EjX07A

Christmas is on the horizon and weddings are in abundance...so I have Cuisinart on the brain. I just redid my store so you can browse through the "Cuisinart aisle"! Click on my link to the left and have a great time! After you finish browsing there, please check out the Karen Kingsbury book section in my other store. You'll be GLAD you did!

You Swine!

2009-09-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

I just read that 21,000 college students are sick with swine flu! Well, our family definitely contributed to the statistics.

We were visiting our daughter two weekends ago. She had gotten up really early to attend some fraternity events. It was the boys' Pledge Day. She met up with us at lunch and just kept telling us how tired she was. We all went our separate ways and we met up with her again at a fraternity tailgate just before the game. She was having fun and seemed great.

My husband and I had amazing seats on the upper deck. Unfortunately, we had to walk up about ten sets of ramps. By the time we got to the top, I was huffing and puffing. We found our seats and within minutes we were smack dab in the middle of A Bug's Life. Huge ones were dive bombing everyone. Medium ones were flying down my shirt. Crickets were flinging themselves at people. Tiny, buzzing ones flew in my ears. We had a screamer a few rows behind us, as the bugs were pelting her. Definitely annoying and yet highly entertaining. By the 3rd quarter of the game, I told my husband that if one more bug touched my body anywhere, I was done. I got up to start the treck down the ramps after some huge bug landed on my head.

We were at the bottom of the ramps, when I heard my cell phone ring. It was my our daugter, telling me through tears that she felt horrible. (She had texted me just before halftime to tell me she and her friends were leaving. She commented that it hurt to stand so long. I texted back, Oh, good grief! I was thinking what a lightweight she was.) She asked me to come to her house as soon as I could. She said that her legs hurt really bad and she had a terrible headache. I told her it sounded like the flu and to take some Motrin, get a cool drink, put a cool cloth on her head and get in bed. When the game was over and our friends met up with us, we walked to the car and they dropped me off. I walked in to find her laying on top of her comforter, not having done anything I had suggested. She said she just couldn't move. There were no clinics open that night so we had to wait until the next morning. We took her to the doctor who immediately said she had H1N1 (swine flu). They swabbed her throat and said that a study was being done and they would have the results in a week. No Tamiflu was given. He wrote a prescription for Naproxin (for the aches and fever) and for Musinex D.

I have since learned that the swab tests for influenza a and influenza b. If you test positive for influenza a, you have the swine flu. If you test positive for influenza b, you have the flu. The nurse called with results this past Saturday, and she did indeed test positive for influenza a.

So how was it? The initial aches and fever made her feel pretty bad. This child has never had any flu before. After the Motrin kicked in the first night, she actually didn't feel quite as bad. All in all, it was much less symptomatic and shorter lived than the flu. It hit her like a ton of bricks on Saturday and she was feeling pretty good by Tuesday, and had been fever free for a day and a half.

Thank you, God, for the Special People in our Lives!

2009-09-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

Friday evening, I received a call that someone very dear to me was in the hospital and not doing well, and was not expected to make it through the night. We went to the hopsital and sat with the family. She was my next door neighbor for my first seven years and the "other mother" of my childhood. I cannot even begin to express how terribly sad I am for all of us that she has passed away. One by one, I am losing my beloved friends of that generation. My mentors. The godly women that I have known my whole life, since I was little, and who have loved me, taught me, and thought of me throughout my life. Oh, the countless memories!

Saturday afternoon, our daughter drove home to attend a party. She got picked up at 5:30 P.M. and had been gone about ten minutes when we walked out the door and drove two and a half hours to College Station to attend the Ring Dunk of a very special young man and his roommate. We literally snuck up there (to surprise him) because we wouldn't miss it for the world. The boys "dunk" their senior rings in a pitcher of beer (4 beers) and race to see who can get the ring between their teeth first.

The winner took 36 seconds and his roommate took 38 seconds. Success! Some burping but no vomiting! The actual Ring Dunk was followed by the father of this young man, his uncle and his brother-in-law (to be) "dunking" their rings, but in only two beers each. The two Aggie dads creamed the Sooner! So, like father like son...they were both the winners of their respective dunks. LOTS of LOUD burping! There were about one hundred people attending this Ring Dunk party and we were thrilled to be part of this great tradition! We drove home and walked in the door literally one minute after our daughter came home.

As I am going to sleep, I am reflecting upon the fact that I am now becoming that woman in my younger friends lives. They will watch me grow old. I want to make every second count. I want to create memory after memory.

A Stye in My Eye

2009-09-09T21:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like a cyclops... a one-eyed giant (in Greek mythology). I look like I lost a battle. I have a stye. In case you've never had one, a stye is basically a pimple on your eyelid caused by staph. S-t-a-p-h! Who knew that we all have staph living on our eyelids all the time? Well this nasty little pimple is now huge and purplish - red and is causing my cheek to swell. Yes, it hurts.

How do you cure a stye? A friend told me that her father was a doctor and he always told her to rub her 14 k gold ring across it. She said she did and the styes always went away. I tried it. It's still there. Someone else, who is a physician, told me to heat a sterling silver knife and hold it on the stye. (What is it with metals??) I tried it. It's still there. I read somewhere to put triple antibiotic ointment on it. I tried it. It's still there; and not only that, it seems larger than life!

I may not know how to get rid of it but I found out what caused it! I went to the door today when someone from our insurance company stopped by. I apologized for looking the way I did and explained that I had a stye. She laughed and said, "Oh, you know the old wive's tale... you must've watched a dog pee." Well, yes I have and it must have been the beagle peeing on my oriental rug that caused this horrible affliction in my eye!!

** A side note....I went to the doctor today. It is a stye and a staph infection abcess! So, that's why it hurts!! Bottom line: Don't ignore a stye (or watch a dog pee)!!

*** Update....I went to my opthamologist today and I have a chalazion. A chalazion is a bump in the eyelid caused by a blockage of a tiny oil gland. My doctor said I will have to work hard to avoid surgery. I have to use a Q-tip a rub an ointment on the eyelid at night, after a warm compress. In the morning, I have to use a scrub on the eyelid. She told me it could take as long as three months or so to go away and that if it hasn't in three months, I will need surgery. Why do I NOT want surgery? Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmX2w6EOZ0M

Ring Tum Ditty

2009-09-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

Southern comfort food from the recipe box of a southern cook. Just the name intrigues me. I had never heard of it and when I researched it, I found many recipes call for it to be put in a baked potato instead of over a piece of toast.

RING TUM DITTY

1/2 bottle ale, beer or porter
3/4 - 1 lb. sharp cheese, cut up or grated
1 can tomato soup
2 beaten eggs
1 large chopped onion
Mustard, salt, cayenne, tobasco, Worcestershire - to taste

Bring the ale or beer to a boil; add cheese, stirring as it melts. At the first sign of stringiness, add the soup. Then add the onion and the beaten eggs. Now add the seasonings. (Some like it hot....some, not so.) When onions are cooked, serve over hot toast.

What To Do When Your Husband Complains That You Don't Cook Very Often

2009-09-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

My mother and grandmother were both fabulous, southern cooks. Either one of them could've been the Paula Deen of their day. Unfortunately, I did not inherit their talent. I was moving things around in my pantry this evening and accidentally knocked my grandmother's recipe box on the ground. The recipe cards scattered everywhere. I began picking them up, one by one, to place back in the box. Two of them happened to catch my eye. Are you ready? Brussell Sprout, Tongue and Cheese Sauce Casserole and Prune Whip. I can assure you I have tasted neither and I'm not exactly sure why she took the time to even copy them onto recipe cards. I am so fascinated that someone would actually make either of these recipes, much less serve them to guests, that I am sharing them with you, as written. It dawned on me that if my husband ever complains again about my lack of cooking, I do believe I will whip both of these up and serve them at the same meal. I assure you he will NEVER complain again!! (If you ever make one of them, please let me know what you think!)

BRUSSELL SPROUT, TONGUE and CHEESE SAUCE CASSEROLE
2 packages frozen brussell sprouts
3 Tbsp. flour
3 Tbsp. butter
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup grated sharp cheese
1 cup diced, cooked tongue
Dry mustard for cheese sauce

Cook the brussell sprouts until barely tender. Drain. Sprinkle over the tongue, already in a shallow casserole dish. Make white sauce. (I am assuming that you use the flour, butter and milk to make the white sauce.) Put in grated cheese. Pour over tongue and brussell sprout mixture. Bake at 350 degrees until bubbly hot, about 20 minutes. (I might wait and tell him what's in it AFTER he eats it!)

PRUNE WHIP
4 egg whites
1/4 tsp. salt
1/3 tsp. cream of tartar
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup cooked, pitted prunes
1 Tbsp. prune juice
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. lemon rind, grated
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Place egg whites, salt and cream of tartar in large bowl and beat for 2 minutes, or until the eggs are very foamy. Continue beating and add 1 tablespoon of sugar at a time; beat for 4 minutes ot until egg whites are stiff and glossy. Place the prunes in a small bowl and mix for 2 - 3 minutes until prunes are well-mashed. Add fruit juices, rind and nuts; mix for 1 minute. Add the prune mixture slowly into the egg whites, and mix for 1 minute. Pour into a lightly buttered 1 qt. casserole. Place in pan of hot water and bake for 45 minutes. Serve with whipped cream. (Like THAT will help!)

Rollercoaster

2009-08-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

The past ten days have been a major rollercoaster ride of emotion. It was as though I climbed on rollercoaster, closed my eyes, threw my hands up in the air, and waited, each day, to see where I was on this ride....the top or the bottom.

Climbing to the top. A very special young man in our lives has been so excited about heading off to college. Many of his closest friends from high school will be there with him, even living in the same dorm. This summer has been spent preparing for this moment.

Zooming to the bottom. The Friday night before he left, I lost it. Totally fell apart. This bright spot in my life was leaving. There would be a void. No back to scratch during church. No one to turn around in the communion line and ask if I would hold out my hand (so he could put his gum in it).

Back to the top. We went to say goodbye Saturday morning and his parents asked if I wanted to come to help move him in. To my house in back in five minutes with my bags packed! His room is great. His roommate is a close friend. We saw so many guys and girls he knew. Knowing how happy he was made the leaving a little easier.

Easing to the middle. The ride home was very quiet with a few tears. I tried not to babble my head off like I usually do when I'm uncomfortable with silence. I was eagerly anticipating the next day when several of us would take his mom to lunch to keep her busy.

Down again. Monday morning I checked on a good friend who has pneuomonia only to find out that another good friend's father had passed away the night before.

Up. We attended the sports kick-off at our godson's school. We are so proud of him and determined to be there for him since it was his brother that just went to college, and he is now the only one at home out of four children. I have to say I love the back-to-school excitement and energy.

Swoosh to the bottom again. Girls Rush. So exciting and so devastating all in one. Why can't everyone just pledge what they want to? (It ended up being great for everyone we were pulling for but I didn't know it at the time on Tuesday.) My daughter's sorority really let her down and she called me off and on all week, in tears, mad and hurt. It's so hard going through Rush but it's even harder sometimes on the other side.

Zip to the top again. Thursday, we found out that another very special young man in our lives (the older brother of the one who went to college) got in a local social organization that is terribly difficult to get into. Whew! Finally, a very bright spot in the week.

Cruising at the top. We found out the sorority rush results. Everyone seems to have found a place that is just right for them. Personally, I am SO glad that's over.

Oh gosh, what was I thinking? Now, we have Boy's Rush!

This week's ride? I'm hoping for something simple like a merry-go-round. Level, peaceful and leaving a happy tickle in your tummy!

I hope you'll leave me a comment and share your experiences! Blessings!

The BEST Gift for a College Bound Student

2009-08-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. School. It brings a smile to the face of many a parent, and a tear to those getting ready to send their child off to college. There are so many changes, challenges, and concerns to face when leaving home, with one of the biggest being, how can I do my business without being embarrassed? Whether your child will be using a community bathroom down the hall or sharing one with a roommate, you need to LOOK NO FURTHER!

Here's the perfect gift to send with your college bound child. It's called Poo-Pourri. OK, the name of this product may have you laughing, but try it before you mock it. Poo-Pourri is a liquid spray about four times directly onto the surface of the water in your toilet bowl. The oil formula creates a film on the surface of the water, trapping any embarrassing odors. Once the business is done, flushing releases the odor-neutralizing scent into the air, leaving the bathroom nice and fresh. The motto says: "Spritz the bowl before you go, and no one else will ever know!"

Poo-Pourri comes in several scents: Original, No. 2, Heavenscent, and Royal Flush. Read below to learn a little bit about each sent.....

"Original":

Spritz the Bowl Before you Go and No One Else Will Ever Know. This blend of 9 Natural Essential Oils such as Bergamot, Lemongrass and Grapefruit creates a protective film on the surface of the water; effectively eliminating any odor before it even begins!

"No. 2":

Spray the Loo Before No. 2 and No One Will Ever Have a Clue! A sweet bouquet of Mandarin, Bergamot and Orange enhanced by hints of Peach and Berries!

"HeavenScent":

Celestial Freshness that's Fit for Kings - With Every Flush an Angel Gets It's Wings! A divine blend of White Jasmine florals and Natural Essential Oils. ~ You Can Truly "Expect Miracles" in your Bathroom!

"Royal Flush":

Great Washroom Scents for all Distinguished Gents! The fresh essence of eucalyptus works in synergy with spearmint.

Call Memory Lane to order: (210) 828-4800

Men in the Grocery Store

2009-08-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

I just told someone yesterday that I have a love/hate relationship with going to the grocery store with my husband. He's like a kid in a candy store and I have to say that I love that part; it's really cute. The hate part comes in when I get frustrated with how slow he's moving (because he's checking out all the things he wants to get) and I leave him with the cart and my purse. I zip around to about seven aisles while he is cruising around the deli. The problem is, my hands are overloaded and I wander back to where I left him. Well, OF COURSE, he has moved on. He's nowhere to be found and he has my cell phone. Every single time, I walk the full length of the store (usually twice) before finding him. I DUMP all of my items in the cart and then it totally irritates me when he rearranges the cart. I mean, seriously, who cares? There are no cart police. WE are going to put the items on a conveyor belt when we check out, anyway.

Check out what comedian, Jeanne Robertson says in "Don't Send Your Husband to the Grocery Store": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs

At Least It's Not Runny!

2009-08-11T15:42:00.000-07:00

I HAD to share this! Look closely at the mango salad I was asked to make for today's birthday celebration. We decided that one end was for those on a diet and everyone else could eat off the other end.

Two of my friends at lunch today were at our Supper Club, about 16 years ago, when I was asked to make a cranberry congealed salad that never congealed. When I discovered it, it was too late to do anything about it. I took it to the hosts' house and as a joke, replaced the salad plates with bowls and placed a straw at each place setting. They have never forgotten that. When I displayed my mango salad today, they both started laughing. I seriously don't think I've been asked to make a congealed salad since that night and look at how this one turned out. (Today's hostess quickly tried to help by adding a dollop of mayonnaise and a raspberry on each slice.)

The mango salad DID taste good, though, so for the recipe, please go to my other blog: http://www.supperclublunchbunch.blogspot.com/.

You've Still Got It!

2009-08-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

If you have ever been to Port Aransas, Texas then undoubtedly you've been to, or at least heard of, Sharkey's. Sharkey's, on the highway into town, holds quite a surprise for its guests. From the road, it looks like a shack-like hamburger joint. In reality, after you go down some stairs, there is a huge room with a large dance floor and several bar areas. A DJ plays the latest hip-hop.

July 4th weekend, a group of us ventured out to Sharkey's. This was the first time we had been in a bar in years. We had so much fun dancing. I am a huge hip-hop fan so I was in my element. We left the dance floor when our friend's phone rang and he stepped outside to talk to his son. As he left, my husband saw a man out of the corner of his eye, approaching our friend's wife. My husband stepped back toward her to offer some protection. The man walked up and said, "Your woman wants to dance. She's moving to the music." At this point my husband wickedly decided to have a little fun with this situation and said, "Oh, that's not my woman, this one is. She's yours!" (pointing to my friend) The man proceeds to tell her that he is from Oklahoma, that he's put two sons through Texas A & M, and that one son is working for a construction company in San Antonio. Ironically, the guy has the same last name I do! He assures me that we are no relation. It's obvious that our friend is very uncomfortable. As she is trying to STOMP on my husband's foot for not bailing her out, the guy leans closer to her and says, "You smell sooo good. I'm ready to sew some wild oats tonight!"

With that, she tells the guy that I will dance with him. I decided it was time to go find her husband.

I walked outside and he was casually sitting, chit-chatting with his son and I said, "You'd better come back inside. Your wife is getting picked up by some guy!"

Our friend told his son, "I need to go, Mom is getting picked up by some guy." His son was rolling with laughter. When he and I walked down the stairs, the guy looked like a deer in headlights and hauled it to the other side of the room.

All I can say is..........YOU'VE STILL GOT IT, MY FRIEND!!!!

Better Manners

2009-08-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

Girl night tonight! There is nothing more fun than sitting around with fun friends sharing funny stories. One of my favorites was from two years ago, when my husband and I went to a very large and very formal party. At around 3:00 a.m. we left the dance floor to sit down for a few minutes. My feet were KILLING me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man circle around our table to ask my husband a question. He looked to be in his sixties or seventies and I had watched him dance the entire evening with girls that were in their twenties. EWW! Suddenly, I heard my husband say, "Well you sure can!" The next thing I know this man has me by the hand and we are headed to the dance floor. As we passed tables, people said things like, "Oh, look who he's got now!" and "Oh, you're in for a treat!"

We were halfway through a dance when he said, "You are a really good dancer. I wish I had found you years ago. You know, I don't usually ask heavy women to dance because I can't turn them, but I'm having no trouble turning YOU at all." (Read that last sentence slowly.)

It's not that what he said wasn't true but seriously, most people just don't say it!

The same friend who had us over tonight often says, "I believe that almost every conflict could be resolved with better manners." How true!

What in the World?

2009-08-04T13:48:00.001-07:00

What in the world are these jumping bugs? They can jump across a hallway!

Do you know what they are?

Twitter. Tweet. Squawk!

2009-08-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

Twitter. I have tried it now for about two months. I have to admit that I just don't get it.

Anyone who uses Twitter is supposed to answer the question, "What are you doing now?" Lately, I have received tweets on my phone that read, "packing for the big apple--can someone show me how i fit 30 outfits into 1 suitcase?" and "Jake Ryan is fabu-loso" or "gluttonous dinner about to ensue....look out paesano's" and "last night out in SA as a geology undergrad"...and one of my favorites, "Robby from the Bachelorette made me 2 weak vodka sodas last night. jealous?" Oh to be in my twenties again!

Compare those to the tweets of friends who are closer to my age, "What a great day!" and "Trying to stay cool" or "Great! Yet another way to humiliate our kids." We sound like we're grateful that we got up this morning!

Just today I received a request to follow me on Twitter from my daughter's friend. Oh, how thrilling for you, Kaki! I know you'll be so excited to know when I am loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, or brushing my teeth because I will never tweet you when I am dancing at a bar, or watching some guy try to pick up my friend Margaret, at Sharkey's, or singing karaoke or any of the other things you all think we moms shouldn't be doing. After all, I have a reputation to uphold!

I think there should be a special Twitter for those of us over 40. They could call it "SQUAWK!"

Check out Kaki's website: http://web.mac.com/kakidesigns/KAKIdesigns_/JEWELRY_COLLECTION.html

Mom was a Foodie

2009-07-31T23:45:00.000-07:00

I used to tease my mom that she and I could not get through one conversation with her talking about food. She LOVED to cook. The kitchen was the heart of her home. I can still remember coming home from school and doing my homework in the kitchen because it always smelled so good. Mom learned to cook from her German grandparents, who owned and operated a bakery.

Cooking and entertaining meant everything to my mom. She didn't just throw together a quick meal, she created an event, every time she cooked. Everything had to be perfect. From the placemats to the salt shakers.

Mom was known for her southern cooking, especially her grits and her cheese souffle', neither of which I cared for. I can remember several Sunday afternoons, sneaking downstairs to open and SLAM the oven door so the souffle' would fall, so I wouldn't have to eat it. So why am I sharing the recipes for food I didn't like? Because I am the ONLY one who didn't like them. EVERYONE else absolutely LOVED them.

Well, here they are, shared the way they were written....

Jerry Lee's Cheese Souffle'

1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup of milk
1/2 lb. Nippy cheese spread
4 egg yolks, well beaten
4 egg whites, beaten until stiff

Melt butter. Add flour and salt; blend. Add milk slowly; cook, stirring constantly until thick and smooth. Add cheese; stir until melted. Gradually add sauce to egg yolks. Carefully fold in egg whites, beaten stiff but not dry. Pour into ungreased quart-and-a-half souffle' dish. Set the souffle' dish in a pan of water and bake in a moderately slow oven (325 degrees), for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until mixture doesn't adhere to a knife. * Sometimes I add a pinch of dry mustard. (Be careful not to slam the over door!)

Jerry Lee's Famous Garlic Cheese Grits

To 3 cups boiling water add 1 cup grits. Cook for 3 minutes.

In separate pot:
Mix 1/4 cup warm milk with 3/4 stick oleo or butter. Add 1 tube garlic cheese. Mix until butter and cheese are melted.

Add 2 well-beaten eggs, 1 pressed garlic clove (optional) and a dash of cayenne pepper.

Pour this mixture into the grits and mix well. Pour into 1 1/2 qt. baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for about 45 - 55 minutes, or until set.

ENJOY!

The Red Prayer Book

2009-07-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

My mom died seven years ago tomorrow. Five years before that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer, adeno carcinoma, to be precise. It returned with a vengeance.

After being told that she had about four weeks to live, she spent every minute she could surrounded by faithful friends. Mom would have me help her get her makeup on and fix her hair, every morning. Her friends never seemed to tire of coming to visit and she thrived on the laughter and reminiscing.

About two weeks before her death, Mom began seeing things. I walked into her bedroom and told her some friends were coming to visit. She told me that she thought I had put enough chairs around her room and could stop now. I told her that I hadn't put any chairs in her room and she asked, as she pointed, "Well what about all of these?" She also asked what the women in old fashioned dresses were whispering about, and why they were staring at her. She said they were dashing about in a hurry, and that there were men in top hats. I figured it was just the morphine.

A few days later, one of the ministers from our church came by to give her communion with her family. My husband, daughter and I each sat around her and we all took communion and prayed. When communion was finished, the three of us walked the minister to the door to say goodbye and I went back in Mom's room to sit with her. We talked for a few minutes and then she got a strange look on her face and pointed and said, "Oh look, someone left a red prayer book on the dining room table and we need to return it." I turned in the direction she was pointing, and saw that she was just pointing to her bedroom wall. I told her that she must be mistaken because she couldn't possibly see the dining room table, or the dining room for that matter, from her bed. We joked for a minute that it must've been those gossiping ladies and the men in the top hats that left the prayer book.

No one could have been more surprised to walk out of her bedroom, go around the corner to the dining room, and find a red prayer book on the dining room table! I immediately called the minister, so we could return the prayer book. When he returned to pick it up, I told him what had happened and he said that God had allowed Mom to have one foot in Heaven while she still had the other foot here with us. She was starting to get her glorified resurrection body. That’s why she could see through the wall. Mom died the next week.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and I will always consider that moment to be a very special gift from God. He not only was taking her home, He was allowing us to observe this incredible experience as a reassurance for each of us.

(The photo is dated 1947. Mom is 23 years old in this photo.)

Behind the Times

2009-07-29T16:45:00.000-07:00

Apparently, doggy butt sunglasses are the new rage in California. I thought I'd give it a try. My poor, sweet dog looks like an elephant walking backwards! Enough said!

Arsenal of Spit-wads

2009-07-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

We went to dinner tonight to celebrate Mimi's birthday. Mimi does not officially belong to my family but she is a shared Mimi, and we are glad to have her. Tonight, she was literally surrounded by her adult children. The grandchildren sat at a table behind her. She strategized and planned the seating arrangement to her own perfection.

The waiter timed the deposit of nachos perfectly, placing the plate dangerously close to me. After eating half a plate myself and then offering the rest to those around me, I heard the words YOU FAT PIG! Well, yes, oink oink, but who's talking about me? My snout is far more capable than you might imagine. So, I spend the next few minutes rooting and foraging through my salad. Then, it hit me. Not a thought or an idea. Something really hit me. I touched my cheek and pulled off a wet, oozing glob of spit and paper. The definition of a spit-wad is "An awesome force in the universe. Owning all one at a time." It was an awesome force, all right. A declaration of war.

I'm now oblivious to everyone around me. I embarrassly admit that I had to get a quick lesson on making and firing spit-wads but I missed the part where you shove the paper in one end of the straw, and then blow on the end that the paper is in. I broke the first rule of firing spit-wads. I TURNED THE STRAW AROUND. I took a deep breath, blew hard, and it went about two feet and fizzled. Damn! Another incoming skud. Ouch! That one hit me below the left eye, followed by another one in my hair.

As I reload, I catch one of my enemies in the ready-position. This time I lean to my right and avoid the impact. Unfortunately, it hit a little girl at another table behind me. She's really little and has no idea what happened, and none of the adults with her had any idea. My turn!

This time the wad of wet paper is on the end of the straw nearest my mouth. I take a deep breath and.....the spit wad ends up in my mouth. While I have yet to shoot a good one, I now have them all over my shirt, in my iced tea, and on my plate. I pick up one that fell out of the straw and reload, only to have it end up in my mouth. I'm practically sure that it was someone else's spit-wad that is now in my mouth.

I'm determined, stubborn, whatever you want to call me but I am going to shoot a good one. Through my efforts to reload, I hear someone talking to me in the distance, something about acting my age. Haven't I told you not to talk to me when I'm busy? Husbands are s-l-o-w learners. For a brief second, I mentally went down my list of people that I am relieved weren't there: my mother, my father, my father-in-law, my gynecologist and colon specialist. Family members begin circling the table to apologize to those sitting quietly as I am blowing so hard on my straw that my face turns bright red. Nothing happens. I am losing this battle.

People begin leaving. But like every war in history, never turn your back on the enemy. It finally happens! Zing and Splat! I nailed him. He looks at his shirt, looks back at me, and says GOOD SHOT! Yes!! Satisfaction! It was another GREAT family dinner. NOW I will go back to acting my age.

If It's Not Broke, Don't Fix It

2009-07-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

My phone is ringing and Stevie Wonder is singing...

You are the sunshine of my life, that's why I'll always be around,
You are the apple of my eye, forever you'll stay in my heart...

She's calling. Tomorrow she turns 21 years old. Where did the time go?

Me: "Hi, Sweet Pea!"

Her: "Mom, my car....is.....broken....sob...sob...and .........I can't.....come.....hoooooooome."

Me: "OK, wait. Stop crying and tell me what's wrong."

Her: "It's broken. It's doing what it did yesterday. I turn the key and it makes this really loud, scary noise. It's going to blow up. Lauren's car blew up, you know."

Me: "Describe the noise."

Her: "Click, click, click..."

Me: "It sounds like the starter or the battery."

Her: "Well you better be ready to come pick me up tomorrow so I can come home for my birthday dinner."

Me: "No problem, I will."

Her: "I called Dad and he's not being helpful at all. He told me to find someplace here to take the car to.

Me: "Well, did you?"

Her: "Not yet."

Me: "Ok, let's hang up and you get that done."

We hang up. Fifteen minutes later, I hear Stevie again.

You are the sunshine of my life.... I answer.

Me: "Well, did you find someplace to take it?"

Her: (Inaudible noise....huge sob.....) "Mom, now the whole car is broken. It's just broken. Even the brakes are broken. When you push on them the car just rolls backwards a little."

Me: "Sweetheart, you have power brakes. So, if the battery is dead or the car is not on, the brakes will not work."

Her: "Oh."

She's going to be applying for a teaching job next year. I hope she doesn't have to teach shop or mechanics.